The Spicy Meatball

Why Gen Y Does Not Date

Single people in Gen Y know it's tough out there. We want to be in a relationship, then we want to be single. We want a friend with benefits, then we want a commitment. We want to get married, then we don't want to be tied down at all. Who can keep up? While it may seem very confusing to navigate relationships as a member of Gen Y, there are actually a clear set of rules that most Gen Yers stick to -- you're either hooking up without a commitment or you're in a relationship and moving in together. There's very little gray area. It might sound strange to older generations who place more value on courtship and doing things in a certain order, but Gen Y's swift decisions about relationships actually simplify the process, which for us is always the goal. Come to think of it, I think lesbians have a similar policy. At least that's what my gay bestie tells me. Maybe Gen Y is the new lesbian? I digress. What ever your opinion is of Gen Y's now or never view on relationships, it's important to know that there is sound psychology behind the method. If you're single and on the prowl, there are some things about your fellow Gen Yers that you should keep in mind when it comes to relationships. Here's the break down on why we don't date. Waste of Time We're a generation of now. We want to know the status of everything in real-time. Gone are the days when you go out with someone a few times and see if they grow on you. We know they wont. As members of Gen Y, we've become accustomed to always knowing where we stand and always taking the easy way out. Why would I want to go out with you more than once, if I know right away we're not a match? Doesn't make sense. We see dating as a waste of time because we prefer to cut our losses and move on as soon as we're just not feeling it. Formality Sucks No one likes going on a first date. No one. First there is the decision of where, when, how to meet. Then there is the gamut of emotions you go through prepping for the first date, follow up by the explosion of nerves you feel when you're walking toward each other. Do we hug? Do we not hug? Should I be early? Should I be a little late? The act of dating involves planning and effort, both of which we're not very keen on when it comes to deciding whether or not we just want to bang or eventually move in with the person. Instead, we prefer a more organic relationship. We meet. We talk to each other. We discuss hanging out again (which is not a date because it could involve other people). We slowly break off and do our own thing. We like that for a while. Then boom, we're in a relationship and planning the move in. Very informal and requires little effort. Easy Way Out Lastly, we know when it's just a hook up and when it's a relationship. In either case, there is a clear set of rules and expectations. We're just hooking up, therefore we will not be seen in public together unless it's the end of a night at the bar, or we're together, and it's on Facebook, so it's legit. The problem with these kinds of rules is that sometimes when we like someone we talk ourselves in and out of the gray area, "Maybe he didn't call because he's busy, I'll wait another day before I text him." That's another post for another day, but for most of us in Gen Y, we know where the relationship is going right away. Not having to date each other for months on end to make a decision makes life a lot easier, and well, we like that. photo credit  

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