The Spicy Meatball

To Marry or Not to Marry?

As a person in their late twenties (ick!) I am feeling something akin to a biological clock--only it's for marriage. At this point, I am feeling like I need to decide, is it for me or isn't it? Below is my pros and cons list in my head. (This list is not in any particular order.)

Reasons Not to Get Married

1. Just Say No to Change - I like my relationship the way it is. We love each other, we bicker all the time, we laugh hysterically (mostly because I am the funny one), and we are best buds. I don't want us to have to fit into "roles" if we get married, or suddenly act differently because we're legally bound to each other, or god-forbid "act like a married couple." 2. Too Young - Maybe I am too young to get married. Life has changed, and 30 is the new 20 (or 40 is the new 20 if you ask my mom). Plenty of people wait until their in their 30s, 40s, or even 50s to get married. I have my dude on lock-down so it's not like I'll be a spinster at 35, so maybe I should just chill out and enjoy my 20s (what's left of them). 3. Wedding Nausea - I know lots of girls plan their wedding practically right out of the womb, but I am not one of those girls. I never fantasized about the dress, location, colors, flowers, or whatever else. I was concerned with finding someone who would put up with me and perhaps want to procreate. Additionally, I can be uber-controlling, and I think planning a wedding would set me over the edge (Bridezilla anyone?). Too much to think about. Who will be in it? Where will it be? Who to invite? How much will it cost? blah, blah, blah... 4. Losing Sight - I care about my relationship going the distance, not so much about the day we professed our commitment. I realize it's a nice public thing to do, but from what I hear, lots of people get wrapped up in the day and lose sight of the intention. Also, call me cheap, but dropping all that dough on one day seems kind of insane...I'd rather take a trip.  

Reasons to Get Married

1. Perfect Partner - I am with the person I want to be with everyday, so it only makes sense that I would want to profess my love in public. I can't imagine anyone else putting up with my oddities, and there is no way anyone else will put up with his sing-narratives (maybe I can post one of those soon), so we make sense together. We're great for each other, and we would be great marriage material. 2. Time's Up - When I planned out my life as a kid (and believe me it's been planned) I penciled in marriage right about two years ago. Granted, I was around 13 years old fantasizing about my Dreamlover when I made said plan (I obviously knew nothing) but I made some notes and I pictured myself a ball-and-chain at this age. Seemed about right. I would graduate college, get a boyfriend, get married and have a kid all by the time I was 30. Turns out, nothing goes as planned and you have to be ok with plan B...and I am. 3. Keeping Up With The Joneses - I can't get on Facebook without seeing that someone else is married or engaged. Hell, half of my friends have been married for years! I think it's great for them, and part of me wants it for myself. I don't want to keep up with the Jones's, but I have felt that now would be the right time for us given all circumstances. 4. Best After Party Ever - I never planned out my wedding day, but I have been planning the music/food/entertainment for my reception for years. Whenever I talk about getting married, I ALWAYS talk about the reception. I know it would be the best party ever, and really, isn't that the only reason people go to weddings? Well, that and the booze. 5. Marriage Rockstars - We both come from successful marriages. My parents and his parents have both only been married once (to each other) and have not divorced. We have both grown up with good examples of what it's like to truly love someone and stick it out no matter what. We are committed to each other in a way that makes other people say "you two are so good together," and we respect the institution of marriage for anyone who wants to give it a shot. Plus, I would probably have to stop calling him "Boyfriend" (which I don't think he would object to). So there you have it. My inner dilemma.  It swirls around in my brain a lot, so please let me know how you decided...and more importantly, was it the right decision?

5 thoughts on “To Marry or Not to Marry?

  1. Pingback: Domestic Bliss: I Do Everything Around Here! — The Spicy Meatball

  2. mom

    quit thinking about it so much, marriage comes from the heart not the head. There is not “best” time, it comes when the heart says it will.

    1. Pam

      Right you are Lisa!! I once said I would never, ever get married again!! I even wrote it down, signed and dated it and had witnesses. Well guess what…the love of my life came along and we got married.

  3. Courtney Bradwell

    I agree with you about people getting psyched for the wedding and not the marriage. I finally told my mom I am not having a wedding, just a reception for family and friends. They can use that money to send us on an excellent honeymoon. Keep up the witty and insightful posts. I really enjoy reading The Spicy Meatball.

    1. The Spicy Meatball

      Glad you like the blog! I think an awesome honeymoon might be the way to go. Good luck with your next transition. :) Pass The Spicy Meatball along to friends and family if you’d like (shameless plug).

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