The Spicy Meatball

Can We Still Be Friends? Damage Control For The Drunken Fool

Everything in moderation. We hear it all the time, but who really does it? They say don't over eat, don't spend too much money, and for god sake don't drink too much. It's probably with good reason we should only drink in moderation. Why? Because bingeing turns us into complete ogres. Time and time again I have seen very nice people become mean as a snake in as many seconds as it takes to do a Jager Bomb. Sometimes inner demons, beliefs, or desires take over and we lose our minds. Is it just me, or do we all hate each other deep down? I know some people claim they're a "happy drunk," but really I think they're just a "happy buzzed person" as it's rare that someone is completely wasted and the nicest/friendliest/warmest person to be around (myself included). Ok, maybe there are some exceptions, but it seems like when the buzzed line is crossed, we literally take on a new form and all bets are off. Some get hardcore obnoxious and don't stop until someone passes out. Thank god we don't all walk around with our drunken minds speaking because none of us would have any friends! It's a lesson we all learn at some point yet somehow manage to forget when the 3 wise men come out to play. We all have our limit, and it's whether or not you know your limit that separates the nice guy from the douche and the smart girl from the skank. Plain and simple. It's kind of comforting to know that most of us have had these moments, and most of us have gotten through them relatively unscathed. What really sucks is when a friendship or relationship hangs in the balance when someone decides to order their tenth Duck Fart. If you, or someone you know, is questioning whether or not they crossed the booze line, see if you recognize yourself here in these day-after-drinking scenarios: Regret - "OMG, what have I done? What did I say? What did I do? Does anyone have evidence they're going to put on Facebook?" Alienation - "I wonder why she hasn't called me today, we usually talk every day. Weird, I wasn't invited to her party next weekend. I think I'll just stay in and watch HGTV all day." Desperation - "That's it. I really should quit my job and move across country. Now that I think about it, I should probably look into assuming a new identity, but first I'll send out an "I'm sorry" text to everyone and hope someone bites." Denial - "I wasn't that drunk! Everyone has a bad night. She'll just call me when she's ready. Why does everyone freak out about a little dancing? I was just having fun!" You see kids, sometimes it's about the act itself, but mostly it's about the depth of your path of destruction. The key to binge drinking without long-term consequences is owning up to the aftermath. Be the first one to admit you're a jackass and be the first one to say you're sorry/ashamed/embarrassed, because for the most part with a little TLC you can salvage a friendship or a relationship but you will have to say goodbye to your pride. Don't be defeated by your mistakes, learn from them...and then take a Tylenol. ************************************************************************************* Image courtesy of Dustin Rogers. Subscribe to The Spicy Meatball via email or RSS feed to receive instant updates. For more information email me at

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  1. Pingback: All Genitalia Is Ugly- A Review of the Mental Illness Happy Hour | The Spicy Meatball

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